DMs? Nope. Just Email Me!
I deactivated all my social media accounts. Here are some of the reasons behind this.
I am all about spontaneity. You can call me right now and ask me to do anything, anything at all, and I’d be out the door. Unless I had already made plans I couldn’t pull out of. But social media and I are inseparable. I am that girl who’d definitely carry all her followers on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube with her everywhere she went, even if it was to the loo.
It’s funny for me to write about this now but this attachment I have with social media is definitely an addiction. Having to check the phone every few minutes. Checking if my couple hundred followers had anything to tell me. Checking if my existence has been validated by the likes and comments. There is never a real reason, I just make it up as I go.
It's like: “oh, ahh, phones near, might as well pick it up. Huh now that it's in my hand let's see which one of those I follow, don’t follow me back. Also, let's see if that person I messaged last night responded. Oh no I am left on read, but they checked my last story, let's post another story with something bold, gotta let them know I’m not affected….”
This just goes on and on until I have wasted my whole life in it. Well, that's definitely an exaggeration but you get what I mean.
How it all started.
It was just a couple of days ago. I was watching some random YouTube video. I decided to pick up my phone and check my screen time on it. To my surprise, on certain days I spent about 5–6 hours on my phone. The main culprit was Instagram.
Then I checked what I did these days on that app. I realized, understandably, that on days I was out and about or working, there was less screen time, about 3–4 hours (this is still high). But on days I posted any type of content on one of these social media platforms, the hours just skyrocketed. In fact, it almost doubled.
I like to think of myself as someone who does not muse on arbitrary likes or comments. Maybe I was just so self-obsessed and watched and rewatched that story or reel or video that I posted numerous times. But whatever it was the attachment I had with the social media platforms and the sense of validation I was craving concerned me greatly.
So, on August 5th right around noon, amidst folding my laundry while listening to the audio version of Circe by Madeline Miller, I just pulled my phone and deactivated it from all things social media.
I had previously uninstalled these apps but the problem is my addicted self would just log in through my laptop. On top of that, I also wanted to make it official. I wanted people to not be able to access me or see any of my posts.
I messaged my close friends and told them I’d be going under the radar and that they could reach me through my phone if they had it already or my email (and so can you!) vaishnavishanoj@gmail.com. I did not wait for their replies because I knew, any sort of further inquiries or reasoning would make me not go with this.
For certain platforms like Instagram and Facebook, I choose to temporarily disable my account since there are posts that required some sort of creativity and also memories and connections I’d like to keep. This might be something I’d have to address later in life but right now, this will do.
Basically what temporarily disabling the account does is it keeps my account blocked for everyone on the app. My page will not exist until I sign back in, which I can do as I choose. All the data just stays intact but invisible.
The Why
I am talking about myself a lot here and that is mainly because I hate to point my fingers at anyone when I am myself on the wrong side of things. This is mainly in hopes that my experience with social media is in any way relatable to you and you see how toxic this relationship we have with it is.
I’ve never felt more liberated in my life. The same feeling I was looking for from these apps is the same feeling it was snatching from my life. Each and every second that was spent scrolling through these apps was another second taken from my real life, an inch of bone degrading from my spine due to all the confidence that's compromised from comparison and the rising dopamine levels keeping me wanting more and more.
I have no hate for anyone using social media. Especially those who use it as a means of business. I admire their efforts and incredible creativity to captivate people’s ever-shrinking attention span.
In fact, I have tried being useful on social media too but I soon realized I was just a speck of small dust in the vast amount of noise that was out there.
With more than half of the world now on social media, it's so important to understand the significance it has in our day-to-day life. The reliance we enforce in the lives of others as well for the mere convenience of “communication”.
I was on social media because all my friends were on it too. But that's not a good enough reason for me to keep it in my life.
What Now?
Now that I have about 5 hours per day lurking around to be of some good use, I will be filling it up with certain activities that I see beneficial for my future. It’s those specific sets of skills that I am talking about. The movie Taken? anybody?
With only a few more weeks left before the inevitable start of my undergraduate student life, it’s more important now than ever to make me the priority and the center of my attention. To improve me to that version I think is nothing but a dream I had as a little kid. The little girl holding on to a painting she made of herself in the future. That girl, her vision, and her dreams are what I plan to live for.
I will be using this free time to be well-rounded in terms of skills like communication. I had always thought of learning languages but never got a chance to so I take it’s high time now. There is a dusty keyboard in my room that my parents bought for my brother. I will be making it useful again. Definitely reading, MORE reading. I will never have read enough, ever.
This might be me in the honeymoon phase of my new transition but I like this new dopamine rush. I had not written a single article for a really long time and this one being published is itself a sign that speaks for itself.
The Biggest Question! How will I keep in touch with people?
I am still accessible. It might not be what some of us are comfortable with. Emails are finicky and texting is not as fun but this will have to do. And that's the whole point. This is my way of respecting your time just as much as I respect mine. I am hoping that our conversations will be more meaningful. Perhaps I should switch to writing letters cause those were the days when people had the most sincere conversations.
Why Should You Care?
That’s your call. In fact, you should not care about little me, an 18-year-old crazy going AWOL on social media. If there was anything I wanted you to care about, it would be the fact that we are all better than the mere salvation we find in social media. We are better than the domineering grip the instant gratification we get from moving our thumb has on our brains. Heck, we are evolving into the version of humans that have neck, back, and wrist problems and need expensive beds and interestingly shaped pillows to ‘fix’ the issue. If that five-inch screen has more hold on us than our own willpower then there is no hope for whatever it is that’s about to come.
